After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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