Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
