No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
