I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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