When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
