I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
