Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
