Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
