We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
