what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He? As in you personified your dick?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize