why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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