My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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