Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
