I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
