my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
