Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize