You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize