yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
