My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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