im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
