I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
