i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
