The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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