was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
