I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
