??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
