Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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