Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
