I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize