I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
