# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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