She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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