I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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