I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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