Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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