Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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