dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
