Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
They have beer where we have blood.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
