I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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