she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
