we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
