Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
