You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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