Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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