HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
