she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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