I wish I could punch you in the face.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i drank out of a bidet.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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