Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize