I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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