everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize