You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
