I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
