god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
