You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
