No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
