You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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