i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
