When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize