I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
