Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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