It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
