Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
