Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
