As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
