I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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