I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No subtext here. People are naked.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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