the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Randomize
